Nuthin’ but an H thang, Baybay…

Last weekend, we worked in The Yard.

My mom came by the house at lunchtime on Friday to help…she outdid herself. She gave me some brilliant design ideas and then she dug and dug and dug. We dug out some decent plants for landscaping purposes later, which created a mess. We tore up an entire end of the yard that had grown out of control. UGH…the backs of my legs are feeling it these last 2 days.

Our master plan was to rotatil some sections that need, well, to be ripped out basically. BUT, my pesky neighbors decided to have their adult-child get married in their yard on Saturday. SO, because I’m a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Wait, no. Because I’m a good neighbor, I decided NOT to fire up the rotatiller and grind it’s knarly claws against each other whilst there were “I do’s” going on…OK that’s not totally true. There was another reason: we couldn’t fit the rental rotatiller in the car (weep!). Plan foiled. Still, we achieved much.

Saturday morning, we shopped. Costco was our first hit and then the dreaded Home Depot to buy buckets of house paint. After that, the day was a blur…Adam fixed a broken soffit and nailed up some of the cedar siding that had pulled away from the house a bit. I cleaned the house to my heart’s content (and finished off a pile of laundry).

That evening, we drove southeast to Didrik & Elizabeth’s place for a supper that can only be known as the Faboo Fondue. Elizabeth did a splendiferous job on this feast! After a decadent fondue-chocolate-dipped dessert platter, we got to see their gorgeous wedding photos. We chattered away until after midnight and then somehow found our way home (after getting slightly lost in the ‘hoods of South St. Paul). We will hopefully be going to the Melting Pot with these two very soon – it’s been in my unconquered restaurant list for far too long.

Sunday morning, I was angry at the weather. What business does the month of May have in 50 degree highs?? I moped around awhile and finally decided to get out of the house. This time, I was on a real mission: I needed to locate a product made by one of my clients in local WalMart store and purchase it. I never ever shop at WalMart…I was reminded why. It’s crowded as hell, the staff have no idea where to find things and they eyeball you for even asking. I found what I was looking for: the “Heel Smoother” and “Topaz Butter” for the feet. Ooooohhhhh, giiiiiirrrrrrlllll, my feet look GOOD. After my WalMart escapade, I trimmed the bushes outside before they took over the house. Trying to get the foliage away from all sides of the house has proven a challenge.

So tonight, I took advantage of the dumpster I ordered from Tubs. I came home, changed into grubbies and started clearing brush out of the newly formed brush pile on the west side of our house. FUN, eh? At least I got a decent workout. All this preparation is for Roberto. Roberto is our old neighbor who will be painting our house this week. NO MORE BLUE GRAY UGLINESS. It’ll be like I’m getting a whole new house…and it’ll compliment our sexy new garage door!

Lordy, what am I doing? I’ve got like 3 home-improvement projects going on at once. Egads.

The realization of a dream…

After what seemed long as an ice age, Audra graduated from Mankato State U yesterday. I’m so proud of her for exhibiting so much commitment and drive in the face of adversity. She worked difficult jobs that she hated (pushing paper in Target’s Bankruptcy Department and more recently pushing paper on the night shift at a hospital medical records department) to make ends meet, keep health insurance and keep herself in school. She had to get by with little money, even living with our mom for awhile to make it work. She had to deal with the constant health trials of diabetes. Despite all of this, her goal came to fruition yesterday.

Audra earned her Bachelor of Science in Education; she will be an elementary school teacher…and she will excel at it.

To my sister, Audrey-Baudrey, I love you and I’m so proud of you. Congratulations.

Napoleon Dynamite
“Always and Forever”
(as sung by Kipland Ronald Dynamite)

Why do you love me?
Why do you need me?
Always and forever

We met in a chat room
Where love can fully bloom
Sure the World Wide Web is great
But you, you make me “salivate”

Yes I love technology
But not as much as you, you see
But I still love technology
Always and forever

Our love is like a flock of doves
Flying up to heav’n above
Always and forever
Always and forever

Yes, your love is truly great
Always and forever

Why do you need me?
Why do you love me?

My day at work yesterday was one I would love to forget. The problem is, I seem incapable of getting my travails off my mind some days. My entire body was stiff with stress as I rode the bus home.

I awoke at 1am. Wide awake again, sleep eluded my angry tosses and turns. I flipped on the dim light at my bedside table and quietly picked up my book (so as not to disturb Adam). I read for 3 hours. I then put the book down and eventually gained a little sleep – ’til the alarm went off in its inevitably annoying bleep bleep bleep.

I drove down my street slowly, my eyes trying to close out the blinding morning sun. And there, with rays solidly beaming down through the tree branches, I noticed something beautiful. Crystals, hanging off of each branch, each leaf, each petal, adorning my path like glitter. I watched them over several blocks, carefully noting each gleaming lilac along the way.

Suddenly, I felt restored.

Allo there. Let me take this opportunity to express my disgust over the extended disapearrances of my flatmates. First of all, Adam left me for Mexico, wherever THAT is. Adam’s the one I fancy at the dinner table because he tends to fall for my longing stares. His absence meant that I was stuck solely with cat food – blech! Do you think Heather would give me some bits of chicken or fish?? Bloody hell, the lady never even cooks!

Speaking of Heather, she left me as well. Off to LA on business, I gather she had a smashing time with her boss, a woman called Chris. Heather is the one I normally sleep with at night…I had some cold lonely nights while she was gone. I hope she’s happy! The house was deathly silent for three days!! Well, I taught her a lesson – I left her a little poo next to the basement fireplace. This was to remind her that if she does not clean out my loo before she leaves, my temperament cannot withstand both being left alone AND a mess in the area in which I relieve myself. Righty!

A man who suspiciously ALSO calls himself Adam came by while the others were out. Regrettably, I don’t know him very well and so I’m not very social with him (I keep to myself under the bed mostly in his presence). To his credit, he cleaned up the poo I left on the floor AND he cleaned up my loo. Fine chap, that Adam Number Two (no pun intended).

The night Heather came back, two strange men came to the house. She kept them outside so as not to disturb me, of course. A couple of days later, one of the men came back – that is when the racket started. Pounding! Drilling! Sawing! When the noise finally ceased, Heather left the house and came back with Adam an hour later. I heard him exclaim outside, “Oh my gosh!!” Apparently, Heather had a new garage door installed and from his reaction, I gathered Adam was thrilled.

Well, it’s right good to have them back. In their guilt over the difficult week they put upon me, they have successfully spoiled me rotten for the past 24 hours. Well deserved, I say!

Cheerio!

-Garet